Truthfully, Newgrounds Meetups are keeping me alive. Most days are a struggle to get up and work with the reality of where my life is at. We’re nearing a deep dank cavern where I’ve hit some of my lowest lows, but every once in a while a victory comes along and lifts me up, reminding me life is worth sticking around for and it’s all thanks to some of my friends and even the odd stranger.

At the beginning of the year, end of last, I stayed over at @Droid and @poptaffy’s house for some new years fun and relaxation. I saw my good friends @Cymbourine and @Ellsketchlr and a few others. I cried when we said goodbye at the airport and I left for home again to the den that encapsulates most of my OCD and every negative, toxic feeling keeping me down(I’m trying to move out). I saw them again a few months later for a visit. I took them up on the offer “you’re welcome back any time” which sounds obligatory, but they meant it truthfully, and I had the most fun with these 3 friends I could possibly hope for after losing my brother, my best friend, Bandit before his 18th birthday. I could cope a little with the comfort of my friends, their welcoming atmosphere, and precious cats Ollie and Gravy sharing an air mattress with me. I love you guys.

While crashing at my Auntie Bonbon’s place last Monday night, halfway home from Philly, I could definitively say that this trip was just the recharge I needed. I was telling her all about my life since I last saw her in 2017 and about the days I just spent hanging out with new friends, at a convention I’d never been to before, and playing games at an office building which I tried to explain was cooler than it sounds. It’s always nice to talk to her and checkpoint my life: see where I’ve gone and how I’ve grown. I do this a lot in long posts like this, but since covid began I’ve felt too depressed and drained to put any positive experience out there. This is why the little stuff month to month matters, so let’s talk games :)

TooManyGames 2023

I was traveling to a convention that I had never been to, all alone, on Friday morning. It was a two and a half hour drive with just myself, Rivers Cuomo, Brandon Flowers, and Curt Smith on CD. I got to the expo center for Too Many Games around 1pm and parked all the way in the back of an empty lot by the staff entrance, unknowingly. Checked discord and somebody said they won’t be showing up til the convention opens at 2pm… okay, well thankfully they were wrong and I mosied on inside. Did a lap around the con and crap it was awfully small… like two tiny warehouse segments out of this entire expo center? Whatever, I found a Joust arcade cabinet and right away set a daily highscore.

The first Newgrounds user I ran into was @Emizip who made it really easy by dressing up in an ENA cosplay. We talked for a couple minutes before I started looking for more attendees wearing some form of Newgrounds merch(seriously the easiest way to recognize a stranger-turned-new-friend, I’m looking at you @ForgeFrog and @Slimygoo). After a couple more games of Joust and further exploration I noticed a clump of weenies sitting on the floor, blocking an emergency exit, and doodling in each other’s sketchbooks. I obviously recognized nobody, especially if you’re some brown-haired white guy like me(at least some people recognize me for my pink hat, but of course I was wearing my helluva boss crew hat today >.<), but I recognized @RavioliBox’s art style in one book and started saying hello to people. I threw my sketchbook at somebody random(maybe @Fliglaba or @PieLordCollin) and irresponsibly tossed around pens and posca markers that somehow always safely returned to me capped and zipped in my baggie.

@Cryptospore was the first from the Worm Caves faction to show up, I yelled at Owen from across the warehouse to coax him over and play Joust with me while ENA and @MSGhero watched my bag. While I was away apparently they all got in trouble for blocking an emergency exit and panicked cause I left my bag there; thanks for holding it guys!

You can always trust your NG Family.

A group of Squeemblos appeared in the corner of my eye and I got to meet some people I actually recognized from discord like @Bacun @DrewPBalls @K1d @GirZiggler and gave them all big hugs. From here on I started hugging everybody, but I still wore a mask because I am the sane man. @Bacun was way more of a twig than I was expecting and is also a con-goer of the sane variety, mask equipped.

I only met a few more people before the marketplace opened and the venue basically encompassed the whole expo center. The rest of the worm caves crew showed up including @Shal (I still can't believe how clean Shal looked) @jack @Goji @Linethickness @HekDiggity and my two good boys @Droid plus @poptaffy in overalls. I tend to hug and lift them both straight up when I see them which invites challenge: like lifting @HekDiggity and @heyopc and then some. I finally met @MKMaffo in person on the way to the panel hall and briefly met @Broly the legendary super saiyan, much shorter in person! @DrewPBalls tried ushering me over to find @CorTat-G and help set up the meetup place, but I dragged my feet, corralled some leftover NGers and eventually stumbled into the right place by ditching @Shal and following my heart through the market. The space reserved for us was pretty massive, more than I think most of us were expecting, with a table lined with poster prints, stickers, and a large banner of @PKettles winning Pico Day entry:

People started filing in and I was introducing myself to strangers left and right, a lot of people seemed to know me already which is great because I love getting approached and making connections between users that otherwise wouldn’t have talked. @vividlance showed up with Newgrounds bracelets for everyone, and I paired them up with @Droid talking about music and #JAMUARY creative block from earlier this year! I drew an embarrassingly bad sketch in @Dungeonation’s sketchbook and I met the other Squeemblos like @Kekiiro and @Cortat-G



I wrote this tweet about no one in particular, everyone started like this.

The NGP panel started to get underway with some impromptu self-congratulating jerkoff about having a successful meetup and @heyopc ate a rancid tuna-looking chicken sandwich oilier than body builder that smelled like hell on stage. A little bit into the panel @TomFulp rolled up with a few others and took the stage before greeting absolutely everyone who came by at the poster table. Check out this sweet video from when Tom showed up and we gave each other a hug. There was lots of other little moments of fun like getting dragged off stage. It was a pretty funny bit and I’m glad it stuck in so many people’s minds as a core memory from the meetup ^.^

Meeting both @EllieDoodles343 and @rappinawful and how you introduced yourselves to me was so precious and wholesome I honestly had to resist myself from offering to adopt you both. It’s so cool to see twins in this community supporting each other and creating art; I wish I had stuff like that I could share with my family. Ellie I hope you get your first frontpage soon and Grace I hope you get many more! And never be afraid to tag someone you meet and take a selfie with on twitter!!

The rest of the meetup I talked to a bunch of folks like @SrPelo who always has a great energy and always a pleasure seeing you in person @MisMash. I signed some pretty unique items: @squidly’s chompy plush mascot, @thedyingsun brought a newgrounds flag, @DrewPBalls’s shirt, @Taka asked me for permission to roll out a McDonald’s Banner that I graced with a Lucky drawing, and I signed @Slimygoo’s socks! @IvanAlmighty rolled up with a box filled with a neatly piled heft of custom dog tags like he did back in Pico Day 2019!! You spoil us my dood, everyone who RSVP’d and was listed on the public meetup post got a custom tag with their username on it, and now I got two. Hehe. I tried my best to distribute the dog tags with some help balancing everyone’s cringe usernames with my memory of faces in the crowd like @Chourios @BooneBum. A few unclaimed chains are dangling around in someone’s pocket to this day… I always enjoy catching up with my NG Family and meeting new members like @PKettles and @Hibachi who created this entirely blessed poster:

Then I heard some rumblings that apparently long-term online friend @ninjamuffin99 would be attending???? After we were politely removed from the meetup space for the next stinky panel about Metal Gear Solid we all split to the four winds and @TomFulp practiced his sign spinning, trying to keep his new, massive poster from denting while he waited for the rain to stop outside. I hung around with some folks including @Luis and @Mindchamber, bought a smoothie and visited the different merch tables; seeing another NGer in passing when they wore their bright orange name tags in front. Eventually the Funkin’ Crew rolled up with @ninjamuffin99(I gave him a big squeeze) @PhantomArcade @KawaiSprite and @moawling and we were starting to make loose plans to leave the con and invade a restaurant as a collective. @HekDiggity dueled @Bill with rubber swords like true egoraptor accolades and I ever-so-briefly met @milkypossum finally who still owes me a fair duel(with a massive handicap in my favor). I’m an impatient little slut so I asked @Droid where he wanted to eat and invited a bunch of people around me to come with us to The Perky for cheesesteaks and DIPPED.

I posted some more photos from the Friday meetup in the replies of Tom’s newspost.

At The Perky just six of us from the Worm Caves party ordered our brisket cheesesteaks… and then the discord started bubbling up. One message, then another saying they were on the way, suddenly 15 minutes later droves of people in the cursed orange name tags flooded the open bar space while I apologized to our wait staff and tried to get tables/booths for our new friends. @D-slick @Tamag0 @Chourios @SirLenward @septicsebi @Imprez and even prolific users like @TomFulp were idling around awkwardly as tables cleared xD

I’m glad everybody warmed up and started getting comfortable with people they just met as we engulfed the entire building and drained their supply of brisket. I bobbed between tables as much as possible so I made sure to meet everybody who came after my call-to-action discord dinner post. My party that I came with had to head off to their Airbnb because the other half of the Worms were locked out and needed to do work tonight. @SirLenward offered to drive me to my car back at the expo center so I could stay longer, buy multiple red cream sodas and chat with @SrPelo and @evil-sora about our passions(a constant supply of military-grade morphine without OD’ing). @ninjamuffin99 showed up again later into the night and we all had a good time. If we met at the Perky or anywhere else at the con let me know! we. are. now. friends!

I drove a sleepy @IvanAlmighty and @TheDyingSun home while breaking several traffic laws past midnight in the poorly lit streets of Philly. Hilarious hijinks happened or whatever I’m supposed to say about it and we all got home safely(although it was a close call for sleepy ol’ me screaming All-American Rejects lyrics in order to stay awake on the garden state parkway).

Newgrounds Office

Another 2.5 hour drive back to Philly on Monday morning I met up with a bunch of the Worm Caves crowd at their Airbnb to take a day trip to the office. Initially we kept this whole thing kind of hush because everyone always wants to go and visit the office(and I get it), but really we just wanted to play some Nightmare Cops without shutting the whole space down for a week. As usual though when we arrived the guest list easily quadrupled and I figure Tom saw that coming, so no use complaining; let’s party!

I glossed over this earlier but my boy @ninjamuffin99 is a real one in-person the same way I've always known him. Really appreciate the PSP game my dood! It's funny seeing him leave a meeting with @TomFulp and chatting around the office buddy buddy when 5 years ago I was telling Tom how Cameron was the only user on the site I thought could rival Tom's love for Newgrounds. It's just wild seeing our generation grow from where we started on the platform in real time. I'm really proud of you Cam ^.^

To the office boys: @TomFulp @Spazkid @JohnnyUtah @PhantomArcade @IvanAlmighty

Thank you for warmly and openly sharing your work space with us, I hope we didn't destroy the office on you! All of us in attendance are in awe and jealous wonder at your creative work environment, sitting next to wonderfully skilled collaborators. This kind of place can exist and some of us hope to carve out one for ourselves in the future.

Side Note: So weird actually hearing Tom say "Big Boy Rumble Tumble" in person x_x

There's not much to say outside of the usual happenings whenever I visit the office, but that doesn't really say much to the people reading this other than me who have yet to experience it first hand. We draw, a lot, we talk about games and life and stupid ideas we all have for our future on the site. We draw in each others sketchooks, @Bacun stole copier paper when pages started filling up, somebody brought mini canvases and left their mark on the grand chalk wall. We watched newgrounds classics on the TV in the couch area, quoted @egoraptor livestreams and played billiards by the vending machine. The restrooms have four-ply toilet papers and Tom has 3 different types of ergonomic chairs to ensure he looks immortal like keanu reeves. Posters we signed, stickers were stolen, and some people like @EliteMasterEric tried to get work done in the corner! The parking was cramped so we all ordered delivery at some point so we wouldn't miss a second in our internet animation mecca. We made plans to hang out again and swap NG profiles with each other. I got to watch people experience Nightmare Cops for the first time and I got to try some new levels and bosses that we're completed or just started since my last visit. There's a level of charm behind watching these incredibly detailed animations violently swap to sketches with red and blue fill where the boss once was; to see a future masterpiece in progress, to see that video games of this caliber aren't made by art gods, but just a couple doods working at their craft.

Quite a few people suggested that we basically all attended an impromptu pico day... and honestly I'd say that it was actually pretty close(like 80%)! No excessive drinking, surprise special release, and only a third of the total guests, but essentially the same spirit of fun; good times and drawing.

@JohnnyUtah and @Spazkid I know I always sound like such a shill when I praise your work on Nightmare Cops, but it really continually exceeds my expectations with each play and I know you’re being so critical of the work yourselves. You guys quietly grinding away in the background keeps on inspiring me, always a pleasure getting to chat with you both! The fact that nobody around the Nightmare Cops station took any pictures or videos of the work in-progress speaks volumes to the respect and admiration we have for you guys.

@Nihaho it was pretty sick meeting you, thanks for the sticker of my favorite character and maybe one day you'll let me on Bridge Kids for a cameo :p

@jonathan it was really nice to meet you and I don't know if you could tell but I was tearing up a little when I was describing the tattoo I was thinking about getting to you. Thanks for telling me some stuff to know about getting my first ink.

@Spinalpalm and @Bill your shitting game is shitting fun and you should be shitting proud, can't wait to play more!

@moawling you should know by now I'm gonna hype you up to people every time we hang out together. I'm still rockin' that magikarp pixel, floral hat and I'm gonna get my stinky hands on another one from you some day!!

@DocNG @Anislug @Kekiiro @Kiyo @AmazinLarry @maxxjamez tagging you now so I don't forget to write more about you!!

My doordash driver bringing me Wendy's and a hobo outside a cheesesteak shop both loved my Murder Duck shirt and gave me lots of compliments!

Found this sweet treasure trove of Pico Day 2019 photos on @IvanAlmighty's desk:

And lastly thanks for the epic, free Wawa milkshake on the way out @PKettles and @Hibachi, hope y’all had fun at bowling that night and I hope we can chill again soon :D

Epilogue?

This whole weekend I scribbled a ton of Lucky doodles in people’s sketchbooks, on peoples posters and on someone’s sock which kind of feels weird. Not because I was defacing a black sock with black marker, no, because I always say that Lucky is @DOMROMART’s character, but LUCKYBOY is our creation. I guess it’s just the character people associate with me on NG other than a drawing of myself which I really don’t want to plaster in everybody’s books!

It’s both incredibly energizing and depressing to hear when people ask me what I’m working on these days: are you making any new games? Is there going to be a sequel to LUCKYBOY? I’m both glad and mortified when I’m reminded there are people who like the stuff I create and yet right now I’m not working on any personal projects… just grinding away on Helluva Boss Season 2 and trying to save up enough money to live alone. Is working towards independence worth the blow to my personal creative output?

I mentioned this to a few people and I know some like @IvanAlmighty were disappointed to hear that I won’t be doing the ADVENT again this year. If you’re not familiar: for the last 5 years I helped host/create the Newgrounds Advent Calendar each December, we now call it the Tankmas ADVENTure series, and it’s this big multiplayer event that gets updated with art and music and movies and games every single day and the scope grows each year. @GeoKureli and I are tired, we keep trying to go bigger than the previous year and we continually have less and less time to do it. We say we’re gonna stop every year, but this time for George it’s real and I think it’s the same for me too. I really wanna pass the torch to someone who continues the tradition or reboots it with their own twist and expression on it. I tried to do the same with the Summer Animation Jams, but no one rose to the occasion in 2022(I ended up hosting a one-off jam in its absence) and I don’t see it happening this year either.

You don’t need anyone’s permission, just be passionate!

Very much looking forward to NEWGROUNDS TORONTO MEETUP next month…

...things just might be "looking up"

photo taken by @Cymbourine